World Cup: (1) USA Flattens (9) New Zealand, 470-8


TORONTO, ON — As fate would have it, 9 seed New Zealand found themselves in a full-length rematch with the same Team USA that had beaten them 377-8 in a 40 minute bout in the round-robin portion of the Roller Derby World Cup. New Zealand couldn’t improve on their offense, once again scoring on only two jams, but USA looked even deadlier than they had the first time, clearly taking their foot off the gas in the second half and still winning by an immense 470-8 margin.

USA led off with DeRanged up against Fia Fasi Oe, and the Americans put up 14-0 before Fia managed to get some cheers by breaking pack; next up, Joy Collision got a chance to skate laps while Shenita Stretcher, Sassy, Heather Juska and Fisti Cuffs had their way with New Zealand jammer Axl-Slash-R. Although Axl also eventually got out, Joy had already notched 24 points. The jam scores kept increasing as Atomatrix added 35-0 on the followup, and USA was up 73-0 after three jams.

With Suzy Kolberg and Tannibal Lector in the box, NZ was almost able to turn a 4-2 pack situation into a lead jammer call, but Axl-Slash-R was waved off from lead and DeRanged quieted the exploding crowd by getting out second and calling it off at 0-0. The next jam was pretty much the exact opposite, as USA’s Atomatrix got out without lead but Fia Fasi Oe was trapped in pack for the full two minutes. Atom ran up a 19-0, followed by a 35-0 power jam to DeRanged, and USA was up 127-0 after just 12 minutes.

New Zealand got their first power jam opportunity next when Varla Vendetta was boxed, and Shenita Stretcher and Joy Collision eventually lost control of Poison Pixie; Pixie was able to put up a scoring pass that greatly pleased the underdog fans, though it still ended up being a 5-5 jam in the end that made the score USA 132, New Zealand 5.

But it was only a minor bump in the road for the USA machine. A few jams later with the score 149-5, New Zealand got another powerjam opportunity, but this time USA had 4 on the floor and Axl-Slash-R had a much harder time getting through; Tannibal Lector burst out of the box after 40 seconds of struggling for Axl and stole lead and an 8-0.

USA continued to pile on and broke 200 points with about 4 minutes left in the half at 202-5. At the halftime break, USA was up 237-5.

Although New Zealand continued to get game efforts through their roster, noticeably from Skate the Muss and Axl-Slash-R with the star and Terror Satana and Hurricane Hori in the pack, their efforts were all too often going for naught against USA’s overwhelming strength and agility. However, about ten minutes into the second half, New Zealand managed to get the crowd rocking again when Axl-Slash-R picked up a lead jammer status on a jammer-line start so quickly that even she looked surprised, and although she was able to score 4 points on it, she also picked up a major penalty during that pass; when it was all over, New Zealand had added to their score but USA had broken 300 points at 304-8 with 20:12 still to play.

Throughout the second half, USA seemed to noticeably restrict their point production by having their jammers call jams off after picking up two scoring laps even if the New Zealand jammer was still stuck in the pack, only keeping jams running longer if they were trying to get their blockers out of the penalty box. Even so, they still broke 400 points with about 5 minutes still left in the game when DeRanged got out first without lead and busted out a 30-0 jam that made it 428-8. After a few more frames, the curtain dropped at 470-8 USA.

The USA will face 4 seed Australia in the semifinals on Sunday morning.

Team USA’s roster for the matchup was Atomatrix, Tracy Akers, DeRanged, Varla Vendetta, Teflon Donna, White Flight (skating as Brittney Mathews), Shenita Stretcher, Donna Matrix (skating as Anna Kolhberg), Juke Boxx, Fisti Cuffs, Joy Collision, Sassy, Heather Juska and Tannibal Lector.

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