Tough Cookies shoot down Fight Crew 28-23


LA Derby Dolls
Little Tokyo Shopping Center, Los Angeles, CA
April 14, 2007 In a dramatic reversal of fortune, the Tough Cookies once again baked in their Siren defeating ingredients of a powerful defense and aggressive offense to ground the Fight Crew, who haven’t lost a game since March 2005, bringing their season record to a leading 2-1.

It was a tight game from the start, and the Cookies announced their intent to take this game home with a 3-0 opening jam.

But even with star defensive skaters captain Myna Threat and captain emeritus Tara Armov sidelined with knee injuries, the Crew wasn’t about to let the Scouts walk away without calling in air support, trading single point leads back and forth. Both teams were armed for all out defensive combat, battling four jams to a 0-0 stalemate.

At the end of the 1st quarter, the Crew had a good chance to hold on to their undefeated status, with a 7-6 lead. It didn’t look good for the Cookies when Gori Spelling, having earned 5 of those 6 points, injured her shoulder in the 7th jam.

The Green Machine and Red Menace continued to slug it out, neither team leading for long. The Cookies pulled off a dramatic and crowd pleasing “train whip” to fling their jammer so fast that all the FC blockers saw was the back of her skirt flapping around the bank. The Crew was holding their own, and despite the increasing consolidation of the TC defense, The Fight Crew lead the 2nd quarter, 15-13.

It was the third quarter where the TC sewed up their defense. Iron Maiven, Kammi Kazi and Kaboom consistently held the Fight Crew jammers at bay while clearing the way for Squirley Muldowney and Kammi Kazi. Gori Spelling made a reappearance as a blocker, effective despite avoiding the use of her injured shoulder. With excellent teamwork, the Cookies successfully challenged the overworked remaining veteran FC defense, and with the exception of newcomer Fighty Almighty, the subs and novice Crew blockers weren’t able to get organized enough to pave the road for their own jammers, sometimes taking out their own with friendly fire.

The Greenies were prepared to take full advantage of the Fight Crew missteps, successfully using a divide and conquer strategy that squeaked their own jammers through while taking out the undefended FC jammers. On top of their smart defense, the TC jammers played a smart offensive strategy of calling jams with no or minimal points (much to the fans’ displeasure) to block the Crew jammers, inching their points up consistently and taking the 3rd quarter 23-17.

The roller derby gods must have really had it in for the Fight Crew. With their earlier misfortunes that took out two of their best blockers before the game started, and the punishing Captain Pandora Black Box leaving the league, fate was conspiring against them. To add insult to injury, or more injury to injury, during the break one of the referees horsing around with another was thrown like a lightning bolt at FC blocker Dolly Doom. Injuring her sufficiently to take her out for the rest of the game.

Still, the Fight Crew fought to make a comeback in the fourth. Pushing their best remaining defensive players forward, the Crew stalled the Tough Cookies, while piling on 4 more points. But it came at a price, as the vets increasingly and visibly appeared exhausted, running most of the game in tight rotation. The Tough Cookies lead was briefly narrowed to 23-21, but the Fight Crew couldn’t bite through the Cookie’s defense any longer with Squirley racking up another 3 points, and Kammi Kazi pinning another 2, they widened the Green Machine’s lead back up to a final 28-23, ending the Fight Crew’s two year undefeated winning streak.

Points Per Jammer

Tough Cookies:
Squirley Muldowney: 8
Kammi Kazi: 8
Gori Spelling: 5
Laguna Beyatch: 4
Iron Maiven: 3

Fight Crew:
Leia Mout: 14
Judy Gloom: 7
Jihad: 2

Number of jams: 37*
Number of jams with a 0-0 score: 15*

Tough Cookies:
Iron Maiven – Captain
Markie D. Sod – Co-Captain
Venus De Maul’r
Kammi Kazi
Kelly Ka-Boom
Lucy Ball-Breaker
Suzy Snakeyes
Gori Spelling
Squirley Muldowney
Laguna Bayatch
Clobber Girl
Titty Titty Bang Bang

Fight Crew:
Tawdry Tempest – Co-Captain
Dolly Doom
Judy Gloom
Eva Destruction
Leia Mout
Trixie Biscuit
Janice Choplin
Fighty Almighty
Furious Georgette
Goldie Harm

Injured list:
Tough Cookies:
Eire Vengeance
Violet Fury

Fight Crew:
Myna Threat – Captain
Tara Armov

*0-0 Jams compared with the number of jams, are a statistical indication of the role defense played in the game and its outcome. These statistics will be used in future reports, and past reports may be updated where the figures are available.

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