Team Good 175, Team Wicked 173


There was something strange in the neighborhood when Maine Roller Derby returned to the Portland Expo on October 5, 2013 for the sixth annual “Wicked Versus Good” intraleague exhibition bout. Team Wicked dressed in black and represented the day of the dead, while team Good dressed in jumpsuit tan and some were armed with proton packs. The excitement of the crowd swelled as the lights went out and ‘Carmina Burana’ blasted over the public address for the introduction of team Wicked. The lights returned and then the theme from Ghostbusters started, which cued the introduction for team Good, escorted by the Maine Ghostbusters. With the introductions over, it was time to play some derby and the fans had won the minute they walked through the door.

The first half of the bout featured the “hit it and quit it” offense and high-scoring power jams that have become so prevalent in the sport. Team Wicked dictated the pace of the first half picking up lead jammer status in 13 of the 21 jams. Coupled with Team Good’s penalty troubles, this led to Team Wicked establishing a sizeable lead by the end of the half.  Jams 6, 10, and 15 saw Team Wicked putting up big points on the power jam. Zeldangerous scored 15 in jam 6 with blocker teammates Lil’ Punisher and Bea Nimble providing the active offense to bust up Team Good’s walls. Kirsten Damned scored 19 points in jam 10 with Team Wicked’s blockers alternating between passive and active offense.  InfraRed scored 35 (of her team leading 72) points in jam 15 with T-Storm, Phoenix Down, Zeldangerous, and Princess Layher Out clearing the way. Both teams played well defensively in the first half with Team Good holding Team Wicked scoreless in 10 out of the 21 first period jams and Team Wicked in turn holding Team Good scoreless for 12. Scoring highlights for Team Good in the first half include Grim D. Mise scoring 12 points in jam 8 before going to the box on a track cut only to come out of the box, pick up lead jammer, and score 14 more in jam 9, Spry Icicle scored 14 points on the power jam in jam 17, and Hans Yolo, making the most out of her one jam of the night, scored 10 points in jam 18.  Eva La Diva scored 18 big points for Team Wicked, including three natural grand slams, in Jam 19. The half finished with two scoreless jams and the score at 119-66 in favor of Team Wicked.   

The teams returned to the track for the second half with Team Good facing a 53 point deficit, a sizeable but surmountable lead in the sport of roller derby. Each team’s defenses continued with their hard play as the Team Wicked blockers holding Team Good scoreless in 8 of the 22 jams and Team Good returning the favor for 12 jams. The “hit it and quit it” offense also continued in the second half with each team trading back and forth on picking up lead jammer and a few points. Team Good had the edge in lead jammer status with 13 out of the 22 jams. Team Good also played a more disciplined second half and avoided many of the penalty troubles that had plagued them in the first half. That is not to say there were not any power jams, because there were a few and they were pivotal to the bouts outcome. In jam 3 Grim D. Mise went to the box for a misconduct and Team Wicked’s Bea Nimble took advantage by racking up 15 points. A track cut by Princess Layher Out gave Grim D. Mise the power jam for Team Good and she responded with 18 points with Crazy Buchannan providing the offensive blocking. Jam 6 was highlighted by the Team Good blockers Cabbage Smash Kid, Margot Tenenbomb and Tri-Scare-atops holding Wicked jammer Zeldangerous and allowing Team Good’s Spry Icicle to score three natural grand slams for 15 points. With the score 173-137 going late into the bout, it looked like Team Wicked’s lead was just too great to come back from, Even though Team Good had outscored Team Wicked 71-54 in the first 19 jams of the second half, Team Wicked still had the lead 173-137 and looked like they were going to hold it through the end of regulation. Things seemed to be darkest for Team Good after Crazy Buchannan was sent to the box for a track cut after scoring 8 points, but Byte Size Bandit, Margot Tenenbomb, Cabbage Smash Kid and Grim D. Mise held Team Wicked’s jammer, Zeldangerous, scoreless and eventually forced a track cut as the jam’s time ran out. Jam 21 started with less than two minutes left on the game clock and both jammers in the box. Crazy Buchannan bolted out of the box, quickly picked up lead jammer status, and then called it off. Team Good called a timeout and then gave the star to Grim D. Mise for the last jam of the bout. Team Good blockers Wrexzilla, Spry icicle, Tri-Scare-atops, and Margot Tenenbomb dominated the scrambling Wicked lineup, allowing Grim the space and time needed to rocket around the track for six scoring passes. With her eyes on the scoreboard, Grim cut off the jam after 30 unanswered points and an expired game clock. The bout ended in a climactic lead switch as Team Good came from behind to win 173-175.   

In the end, Team Good had prevailed and Team Wicked was driven back into the darkness from which they came. The fans were treated to a thrilling bout that had everything that a fan could ask for with jammers dueling around the track, big hits on each side, and power jams that made jaws drop. The teams made their final laps and they were greeted by the fans’ smiles and high-fives. Once the track was cleared, it was time for the boys to play. It was the first home bout for the Casco Bay Gentlemen’s Derby, who welcomed the Mean Mountain Boys of Vermont Men’s Roller Derby. Each team competed with a roster of eight in a hard fought bout that saw each team taking a lot of penalties.  In the end it was the Mean Mountain Boys who were victorious with a score of 352-90. Great sportsmanship and passion for the sport were displayed by all of the participants with lots of exhausted smiles, handshakes, and hugs.  I do not know how the seventh annual Wicked Versus Good bout will top this, but I am anxious to find out.         

Top Scorers

Wicked: InfraRed (72)

Good: Grim D. Mise (104)

Most Valuable Jammers

Wicked: Eva LaDiva

Good: Spry Icicle

Most Valuable Blockers

Wicked: Lil’ Punisher

Good: View Grind’er

Team Wicked

Lil’ Punisher | Bea Nimble | Tokyo Rollz | Emvincible | Cherry Clobber | T-Storm | Kirsten Damned | Zeldangerous | Infrared | Eva La Diva | Princess Layherout | Curve Appeal | Phoenix Down

Team Good

Crazy Buchannan | Spry Icicle | Lolo | Grim D. Mise | View Grind’er | Wrexzilla | Byte Size Bandit | Cabbage Smash Kid | Halfpint Hellcat | Hans Yolo |
Tri-Scare-atops | Margot Tenenbomb

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