>, so the officials probably donâ€™t really careâ€. Not if you have the Shoveler as an official.
Elke (in true Elke fashion) wrote, “Yay!! I hope I have enough cat shirts.” We hope so too, Elke, because the writer of this article has a special interest in cat shirts. Nora Leif is excited not only to be a part of this, but BECAUSE SPRECHER ROOT BEER (If you are in Milwaukee and DONâ€™T have Sprecher Root beer, all of Wisconsin will be disappointed).
Another unusual take on this was from Jon (the writer of this article is doing her very best NOT to call him Catsi). â€œI have worked every Champs/Nationals that WFTDA has organized (I did not work Dust Devil 2006, the de facto championship organized by Tucson). Every year I suspect that my streak will end, and the first thing I think when I am notified that I have been selected is ‘not yet’.” Cats..erm, JON, is an official who realizes that being selected to officiate Champs isnâ€™t a given. It doesnâ€™t matter how long youâ€™ve been officiating. You still have to prove your merit to earn a spot.
Singer said something funny about tight-rolling his pants and dancing around the room, but upon further investigation, parts of this didnâ€™t actually happen (which is sad, because all of the other horrific trends from the 80â€™s have returned … WHY NOT JUST THROW TIGHT-ROLLING YOUR PANTS INTO THE FASHION MIX.
The most poignant answer to our question came from Matthew Mantsch. He simply thought â€œHomeâ€.
Next up: â€œOFFICIALS ARE PEOPLE!â€ (part 1)
We asked these officials â€œWhat is an odd/weird, gross/unusual/funny habit you haveâ€? They did NOT disappoint.
Deadeye: â€œI occasionally break out into song in public places to serenade (read: embarrass and influence) people.”
Null: â€œI can’t really think of anything relevant or interesting. I could mention that I always travel to tournaments with a carry-on-sized backpack, and nothing else. Some people find it weird that I manage to fit everything in there. It might not be too unusual though, I don’t know.”
Dolemout: â€œI pop my toe knuckles. A lot. A genuinely disturbing amountâ€.
Jason Singer: â€œI smell my wrist guards. At some point during a derby day, I find myself singing ‘Time’ by Culture Club.”
Jonathan Lee: â€œI like to do handstands before a game. I also like to do burpees on skates.”
The Shoveler: “Hmmm … there is something I noticed I do over the last year and I don’t know if it is a new thing or something I have always done and just noticed. I rub my right thumb and index finger together a bit before most jams begin. It is kind of a nervous tic, I suppose, and I have no idea when it started or why I do it.â€
Nora Leif: â€œI am made of odd habits. I do have a tendency to hum when I get nervous, though. I’m putting this here because there’s nowhere else to put it–no patches would be sad, but there is NOTHING worse than Air Supply.â€
Elke Hollic: â€œI have lots of odd habits. I like to build pillow forts. I carry a million things in my backpack in case someone forgets something, like socks.”
Jon: â€œI collect animal skulls and such. I haven’t flown anywhere within the US/Canada/Mexico since 2009, but have driven cross-country (& Canada/Mexico) several times.”
Matthew Mansch: â€œI mouth along, not just with songs, but with some people as they’re talking to me.”
â€œOFFICIALS ARE PEOPLE!â€ (part 2)
We asked â€œWhat is something or someone that inspired you or kept you going during a moment of self-doubt or frustration in your derby career? If it was a person (who you don’t have to name, by the way), what did they say/do?â€
Deadeye: â€œI owe a lot to Nora Leif and Stabby McNeedles for helping me keep it together. Without them I would have been a horrible THNSO last year and I would have melted down about Certification ages ago.â€
Null: â€œThe knowledge that I can do better, that I can work harder, and get it right next time.â€
Singer: â€œI had good support from senior referees from nearby leagues, who kept offering me support, whether in person or in emails.â€
Jonathan Lee: â€œWorking tournaments with amazing crews and being able to work with officials that I know from across the country (and the world) always re-energizes and re-inspires me.â€
The Shoveler: â€œA moment of self doubt!?! I am constantly doubting my own abilities and performance. I question whether I am capable of performing any role at any time. To be perfectly blunt, I do the best I can and rarely feel like I could not do/be better. What keeps me going is the challenge of attempting to be perfect. At the moment I think I am perfect two things will have happened. 1. I won’t be frustrated. 2. I will be delusional.
Nora (the following is a quote from someone she respects): “You are really good at what you do and we would be hard pressed to do this without you. You give a unique and experienced aspect that is not replaceable and you have a lot to share.” Thanks, Brooklyn.
Elke: â€œA good friend (and fellow female ref) told me that I knew the rules, I knew how to call it, I just needed to let myself relax and do it.Don’t let the skaters or the coaches phase you, because you’ve got it.â€
Jon: â€œMy stories that are this ought not to be shared. Tripp N. Dale was there for most of them.â€
Matt: â€œAny time I see an official improve something based on my feedback, it makes me want to keep on going.â€
And now, without further ado, THE PART THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING!
When asked Which makes want you to punch someone more:
1. Starting a sentence with the words “YOU GUYS”
2. Starting a sentence with â€œOH HAIâ€
3. â€œThey both want to make me punch someoneâ€
10% said #1 is punch-worthy
30% said they were BOTH punch worthy
60% said â€œOH HAIâ€
This means that 100% of these people have wanted to punch Sir Osis at some point.
And FINALLY: We asked these officials if they HAD to choose one, which would it be?
1. Listening to nothing but Air Supply’s Greatest Hits on a continuous loop, 5 hours a day for 8 months in a row.
2. Officiating patches of any kind no longer existing.
THATâ€™S RIGHT FOLKS, WE HERE AT DNN WANTED TO ASK THE HARD HITTING QUESTIONS.
70% of the respondents were agreed â€œPatches are great, but NOT worth this special circle of hellâ€
30% of these officials really, REALLY love patches. And Air Supply.
Aaaand..OTTER. OUT. (Ed: Until next year!)
Tournament Head Referee: Richie Frangiosa
||Umpire Strikes Back
||null ptr ref
||Curtis E. Lay
|Tripp N. Dale
||DJ Jazzy Reff
||Matt S. Faction
||Wernher Von Bombed
Tournament Head NSO: Kill C. Grammar
|Pol E. Dangerous
||Phil In The Blank
||India Pale Al
|Ruth of All Evil
|Nine Inch Wheels
||Morgue N. Donor
|N. Vaidya Space
* Incidentally, Singer had to bow out as a Jammer Referee for Champs, due to health issues (heâ€™s given his okay to include this). If you are or have been a referee, you know this is the absolute worst thing to have to do. We give him props, and he will be missed–and please note, this statement is not just speculation, it has been supported by many within the officiating community.