Minnesota Unplugs Team United, 304-69


SAINT PAUL, MN–In December, Minnesota met Team United in Des Moines after a long season and minus a few skaters during a break in their training schedule. The highly aggressive and exciting match came down to the final minutes, and Team United took advantage of a late power jam to win 142-139. Over two months later, Team United brought a weaker roster to the Xcel Energy Center against a full-strength Minnesota team. The Des Moines team lacked the bench depth and jammer power to repeat their earlier upset and Minnesota played a solid game to take a lopsided 304-69 win in their fourth Seeing Double Header with the Minnesota Swarm lacrosse team.

The first jam was a good indication of how the game was going to go. Both teams showed off their strong defensive skills, until Harmony Killerbruise popped out first as lead jammer. Sinister Sunami got out shortly behind her and raced up to lay a hit, but her aggressive play landed her in the box instead.

Slambda Phage took the line next for Minnesota to capitalize on the power jam. Lolli PopYa, Snot Face and Cripplin Calamity showed effective teamwork but kept getting pushed out of play. Phage picked up two grand slams and was working on her third pass before her feet slid out from under her and she took out Calamity. Between Sunami and Lolo Gunz, Team United got on the board with 8 points.

Despite Lolli PopYa’s best efforts, with both her own effective hits and clear leadership on the track, MNRG extended their lead across the first quarter to 52-14, mostly on power jams, and Team United took a time out to regroup.

Next it was Team United’s turn for a power jam but rookie jammer Lolo Gunz had trouble getting through the defense of Scarmen Hellectra, Secondhand Smoke and Buzz Tightrear. Once Lolo finally got lead, she called it off to set them up for another jam with Harmony in the box. This time United sent Lolli to the jam line, and she quickly got lead by twirling around Diamond Rough. She succeeded for two passes, but as she pivoted around Second Hand on the apex, she misjudged her re-entry and ended up cutting past Diamond.

Team United got a streak of five lead jams, but jammer penalties were still a problem–despite the advantage of lead jammer status, in that time they were outscored 20-36. By the end of the half Minnesota led 115 to 53.

Team United’s heavily played skaters, Lolli, Miss ConGeeniality and Snot Face led the penalty count with four, five and six respectively. The second half saw Team United focus more on defense by putting Grimm and Sunami in the pack and relying on a rotation of the less experienced Lolo and Crazy Daizy. Lolli picked up three penalties in quick succession early in the second half, including one for insubordination, and fouled out, leaving United with eleven skaters for the remainder.

A 95-6 run for Minnesota followed, courtesy of Second Hand Smoke, Buzz Tightrear and Hurtrude Stein holding back United’s jammers even when their own was in the box.

Sunami was next to foul out for Team United, before Snot Face fouled out with the star to take the depleted roster down to nine as Second Hand Smoke racked put up 38 points.

Minnesota took the win emphatically, 304 to 69.

Slambda Phage led Minnesota’s point scoring with 132 points followed by Harmony Killerbruise with 59. Miss ConGeeniality led the Des Moines ladies with 20 points, while fresh jammer, Lolo Gunz, got 15.

Minnesota Rollergirls
00 Naughty Kitty // 101 Crowella de Vil // 1016 Buzz Tightrear // 13 Medusa // 187 L’exi Cuter // 1837 Diamond Rough // 2 Fanny Tanner // 22 Slambda Phage // 28 Scarment Hellectra // 40 Crust Almighty // 667 Shiver Me Kimbers // 727 Hurtrude Stein // 75 Harmony Killerbruise // 9 Second Hand Smoke

Team United
11 Crazy Daizy // 1111 Tally Marx // 1134 Vyolent Grimm // 14 Deja Deadwards // 16 Miss ConGeeniality // 182 Cripplin Calamity // 2 Lolli PopYa // 422 Snot Face // 45 Lolo Gunz // 515 Wicked Red // 57 Sinister Sunami // H20 Touchier Bouchier

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