Maine Plants Garden State, 258-40


PORTLAND, ME — Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities (officially #11 in the WFTDA East, unranked nationally by DNN) hosted their 2nd WFTDA sanctioned home bout of the year and welcomed relatively new, unranked WFTDA league Garden State Rollergirls to Happy Wheels Skate Center in Portland. Garden State skated for a positive overall home record in 2010, but finished their season with a loss to Philadelphia’s Independence Dolls; their only previous WFTDA sanctioned game was a big loss last October to lowly-ranked Harrisburg 216-99 (Harrisburg is currently #15 in the WFTDA East). The Port Authorities were already banging on all cylinders after blowing out February opponent Queen City 195-55, and easily prevailed again with a 258-40 win.

?In the very first jam of the bout, Portland sent Garden State reeling: veteran jammer Polly Gone (like teammate Barbara Ambush, a transfer from national powerhouse Gotham) pushed through the pack for a nearly effortless-looking lead status as blockers Itsy Bitsy Fighter and Li’l Punisher locked up GSR jammer Jenna Von Fury. Fury’s scramble to escape resulted in a major penalty that left Garden State powerless. With no opposing jammer on the track, Portland blockers slowed the pack, allowing the lightning-quick Polly Gone to round multiple times. Garden State blocker Jheri Kill earned back some precious seconds by hindering Polly at the front of the pack as long as she could, but Polly still snatched a huge 24 points in the first jam. Portland would continue to put the pressure on Garden State as jammers Polly Gone, Barbara Ambush and Grim D. Mise earned lead status for 16 of the 20 first half jams and built a powerful 127 – 17 lead by halftime.

?Garden State needed a break, and when the Port Authorities returned to the track without the dominant Polly Gone in their active lineup, it looked as if they might have gotten it. In the first jam of period 2, GSR blockers drew a major back block penalty on Port Authorities’ jammer Spry Icicle and switched to all-out offense. GSR’s Jenna Von Fury and Angry Beaver closed semi-effective traps on Itsy Bitsy Fighter and Crystal Whip, allowing their teammate jammer Yak Attack to rack up 13 points, nearly doubling their entire first half offense. However, the surge was short-lived as the Port Authorities defense tightened up and grabbed the next seven lead statuses. Spry Icicle would get the best of Yak Attack in their next meeting in jam 5, as Yak Attack found herself in the penalty box. Portland defenders, Barbara Ambush and Li’l Punisher, clamped down on GSR’s Lovely Bones, slowing the pack to a crawl. Spry skated several laps, earning 20 points and landing her own crushing hit on GSR’s Renegade Ruby in the process. Portland seemingly dismantled Garden State with superior quickness, tighter teamwork and stricter discipline, and sent the crowd home happy with a 258 – 40 victory.

Grim D. Mise led Maine scoring with 90 points; Yak Attack led Garden State with 19. MVP awards went to Itsy Bitsy Fighter (Maine) and Lady Vengeance (Garden State).??Maine rostered Barbara Ambush, Crystal Whip, Grim D. Mise, Itsy Bitsy Fighter, Li’l Punisher, Lois Blow, Mae Snap, Patty O’Mean, Polly Gone, Punchy O’Guts, Shirley B. Slammin’ and Spry Icicle; the Garden State lineup consisted of Angry Beaver, Bozie Banger, Cap’n Jax Peril, Don’t Care Bear, Jenna Von Fury, Jheri Kill, Kelly CutThroat, Lady Vengeance, Lixxie Stixx, Lovely Bones, Renegade Ruby, Sucia Lokita, Sugar and Spice and Yak Attack.

Maine will get a much more serious test when they go up against rising Dutchland (officially #10 in the East and unofficially #25 nationally via DNN) on March 26; Garden State is back in action next month against River City (#16 East WFTDA, unranked via DNN) on April 16.

Original article on | Photo gallery from Tom Couture

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