MRDA Quarterfinal: #1 Your Mom Knocks Out #8 Mass Malestrom, 201-98


BALLWIN, MO — Top seed Your Mom faced a surprisingly stiff challenge from resilient bottom seed Mass Malestrom in the opening bout of the 2012 MRDA championship tournament — and had to overcome their own significant penalty problems while doing so — but eventually took control and rolled to an expected triple-digit win over the underdogs, 201-98.

Even though Mass Malestrom lost their jammer early in the first jam, Your Mom was only able to get 4 points out of it as YMMD jammer Twinkletoes was slowed by CMM defense and eventually bashed to the ground in a crowd-pleasing hit from Jack Hammerd. Your Mom was able to pick up 8 more on the other side of the power jam, though, leaving them up 12-0 three minutes into the game.

Diminutive Mass Malestrom jammer No Big Deal took the first lead for the underdogs next, but couldn’t take points and it ended up going 3-0 to Your Mom; following another jammer penalty against the Malestrom, Your Mom pushed their lead to 34-0.

Though the Mass Malestrom crew continued to play smart and aggressive defense, they were consistently unable to handle the angular cuts of the Your Mom jammers or keep YMMD blockers like Seahorses Forever, BS Smacker and Tallerina from being draped all over their own jammers. With 21:48 in the first half, a referee timeout ended with the score moving from 47-0 to 43-2 for the Malestrom’s first points of the game.

The score reached 70-2 before Mass Malestrom finally got their first power jam advantage; still it went for naught as it was YMMD’s Dirty Larry, Sugar Boots, Lily Pad and BS Smacker brutalizing Stryker for a full two minutes as Tallerina racked 7-0. With a quarter of the game in the books, Your Mom was in near complete control at 77-2.

The Malestrom was able to get a little something going as Your Mom continued to keep their penalty box full or overflowing over the next series. No Big Deal finally got the Malestrom’s first clean win of the game with a 4-0 on a lopsided pack advantage for the Malestrom; two jams later, the Malestrom again got a good situation as Your Mom was temporarily reduced to just one blocker on the track, leading to a 16-2 from Cilantro.

Entering the last 10 minutes of the half it was 85-20 for Your Mom, but with Mass Malestrom continuing to take advantage of 4-2 packs, they were able to keep pace with the top seed and end the half at 99-45.

A power jam on the second jam of the second half pushed Your Mom into triple digits 104-48, and 9-0 for Peter Pan on the other side of the penalty made it 113-48. But the game continued to be played almost exclusively in 4-2 packs favoring Mass Malestrom, making it considerably less difficult for their jammer to navigate the packs.

With about 20 minutes to go it was 114-54 YMMD, but Mass Malestrom got into very big trouble when their jammer Burnt Reynolds went to the box as lead jammer just as Your Mom finally got all 4 blockers on the floor. Frank Notsohotra turned that into a 29-1, making the game 143-55 with 18:32 to play. Your Mom lost Dearth Diggler on injury in the next jam, who was able to walk off under his own power although clearly in pain; he would not return to play.

Notsohotra’s big jam was mostly the end of the Mass Malestrom’s hopes for a huge comeback upset; the YMMD lead hit triple digits at 166-63 with about 15 minutes to play, and from there seemed content to play more conservatively with lead jammer to avoid penalties. Even so, they still gave up a few more power jams and continued to usually be shorthanded in the pack; that allowed a determined Mass Malestrom team to play Your Mom perfectly evenly for the final quarter of play, 35-35. Powerful Mass Malestrom blocker Jack Hammr’d amped the crowd in the waning minutes by taking the jammer star and landing a monstrous apex leap right at the fourth whistle for a remarkably exciting 4-4 tie, but in the end it was a 201-98 win for the top seed.

Your Mom progresses to the 9am Sunday semifinal against the winner of Magic City / Puget Sound; Mass Malestrom will play at 5pm tonight against the loser of New York / Portland.

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