East Consolation: 5E Montreal Pounds 8E Dutchland, 225-124


BALTIMORE, MD – Having defeated Carolina in a miraculous last-minute flurry earlier in the day, fifth-seeded Montreal took on a well-rested eighth-seeded Dutchland, who had controversially chosen to forfeit their bout against top seed Gotham a day earlier after winning their initial bout against 9 seed Maine. The strategy would prove to not matter as Montreal outskated them for the 225-124 victory in front of a crowd that relentlessly booed and jeered Dutchland. The first half was dominated by jammer penalties with teams operating more often in a powerjam than not. Dutchland was able to keep the second half just about even, but they could not overcome a 77-point halftime deficit.

The boo birds came out right away for Skid Ho as she captured lead jam for Dutchland and dodged Lil’ Mama for a 4-0 lead. After bouncing off a hit by Bone Machine, Nash Villain was first out of the pack for Dutchland but not declared lead. Rae Volver forced a penalty by Georgia W. Tush but before Nash Villain could capitalize, she traded back the powerjam and joined two of her blockers in the box. With the score at 7-3 Dutchland, Mange Moi El Cul took the lead for Montreal with 10 points as Lil’ Mama and Smack Daddy battered Dutchland jammer White Thrash, who could not escape the pack.

Next up, Cheese Grater forced a track cut just as Skid Ho captured lead jam and Iron Wench managed another 10 New Skids points despite the penalty-killing efforts of Rum N. Choke and Spinal Snap. Skid Ho returned in the next jam and immediately returned to the box but was soon freed by Georgia W. Tush’s own track cut only to go back again right after, continuing the revolving door jammer penalty box that colored the bout. After Nash Villain got back 8 points for Dutchland despite not having lead, Ti-Loup executed a star pass to Jess Bandit who scored 6 as Nash Villain went to the box again. Iron Wench was kept in check by Milk Maiden on her first scoring pass of the continued powerjam but got some momentum as the pack thinned out and her 13 brought the lead up to 42-23 with a quarter in the books.

Team USA’s V-Diva took the line for the first time against Team Canada’s Georgia W. Tush. V-Diva put on an amazing burst of speed to get lead and then lap Georgia W. Tush for a 9-0 jam. Skid Ho then got sent to the box for a 4th time as both boxes filled and Mange Moi El Cul took advantage for a 14-point jam. Iron Wench kept up the pressure, not only scoring 19 but teaming up with Lil’ Mama to team up on the returning Skid Ho. Lil’ Mama sent the Dutchland jammer flying into the crowd with a big hit. To add insult to injury, Skid Ho picked up a 5th as the jam ended.

Georgia W. Tush continued the next jam alone and got another 13, completing a 46-2 Montreal run that extended the lead for the Great White North to 91-34. With three minutes to go in the half, Dutchland’s Nash Villain and Montreal’s Mange Moi El Cul executed a rarely-seen four jammer-penalty jam with Mange Moi El Cul ending up with 15 to Nash Villain’s 0, adding to the schadenfreude of the crowd. After some confusion, Mange Moi El Cul began the last 20 seconds from the box, scoring 10 as Bone Machine hammered Nash Villain, who toughed out 4 points herself. As if the half could end no other way, Mange Moi El Cul was sent to the box as time expired with a 120-43 Montreal lead.

The second half also began with an unopposed jammer, as V-Diva immediately lost her powerjam as Bone Machine drew a back block from her and Mange Moi El Cul skated out in time to get lead and 4 points. Two jams later, V-Diva was sent back with another back block. Then confusion ensued as the entire Dutchland pack was called off at the same time and the only skaters on the track were the Montreal jammer Ti-Loup and her three blockers skating backwards. Ti-Loup scored 16 and Iron Wench followed with 9 through a 2-2 pack; Montreal had opened the lead up to 150-44.

Dutchland mounted a 32-5 run of their own as White Thrash sped around the pack for 4, followed by a streaking 14 for V-Diva on a powerjam, followed by Renegade Raven dodging around Cheese Grater for another 14. On the following jam, Ti-Loup got almost all of it back with 20 points as Lil’ Mama, Jess Bandit, Chasing Amy, and No Holds Bard bottled White Thrash in the pack; Thrash could only finally escape by going to the penalty box at the end of the jam. With 15 minutes to go, Montreal led 175-76.

Georgia W. Tush headed to the box herself two jams later and V-Diva used her amazing speed and ability to withstand a crushing blow from Smack Daddy to score 15. Nash Villain looked to continue the scoring but went to the box herself for cutting the track after getting lead. Smack Daddy and Lil’ Mama cleared the way for Georgia W. Tush to score a double grand-slam. V-Diva’s next jam resulted in a low block major and Ti-Loup struck for another double grand-slam despite Milk Maiden’s valiant attempt to hold her back. Renegade Raven, who had a very successful half, shot through very quickly on the inside to win an 8-4 jam against Iron Wench. Twisted Scizzors then toed the line for Dutchland but she only got halfway around the track before her own penalty set up a 21-point powerjam for Georgia W. Tush as her teammates Lil’ Mama, Jess Bandid, Rae Volver, and Chasing Amy goated Milk Maiden.

With the score 225-101, Dutchland put on one last spurt. V-Diva blasted through a knelt pack as Ti-Loup went to the box. Montreal tried to outrace V-Diva to no avail and she scored 9. Renegade Raven could only get 5 more off the powerjam due to of the good work of Jess Bandit driving her to the center of the track. With only a minute left, Skid Ho returned for her first second-half jam and got a speedy 4 points and Dutchland called a time out. Renegade Raven then took a beating from Smack Daddy but managed a grand slam as Georgia W. Tush went to the box. Finally, as if the bout could end no other way, Renegade Raven was called for her own back block as time expired. The crowd, some of whom had taken the time to create anti-Dutchland signs, lustily cheered Montreal’s 225-124 victory. Dutchland, who had fought very hard for 60 minutes, deservedly still took their congratulatory turn around the track despite the catcalls.

Montreal goes on to play the winner of Boston-London for fifth place. Dutchland will take on the loser of that bout for seventh place.

About The Author


Rollin News Author

Share what you think

Add comment

Please Login or Register To Add A Comment