Charm City 289, Long Island 16


Here’s last night’s bout recap from CCRG’s head referee, Justice Feelgood Marshall:

“In the first-ever matchup between two Division III WFTDA leagues, the
Charm City Roller Girls’ Mobtown Maulers put a record-setting hurting on
the visiting Long Island Roller Rebels, demolishing them 289-16 for the
Maulers’ first WFTDA victory.

The Maulers were playing at nearly full strength for the first time
since their debut in November, with captain and co-captain Pistol Whip
and Buzz Kill back after a two-bout absence and Berzerker and Betty
Beatdown fully recovered from recent injuries. From the beginning of the
bout, it was clear that the Maulers’ speed and power advantage was going
to be a serious problem for the Long Island girls, as the Long Island
jammers were having next to no luck escaping the pack on their initial
pass, often getting halfway through only to get knocked to the hardwood
and having to start all over again. In trying to help their own jammers,
the Long Island blockers were continually caught unaware by the
approaches of the Maulers’ jammers. The Maulers’ Lady Quebeaum started
off the bout by putting up 5 points to Summer Slam’s 0, and then Betty
Beatdown set the tone for the night by dropping a 14-0 jam on Iris
Carbomb. On the third jam of the night, Long Island’s Trixie Timebomb
got her team on the scoreboard by scoring 3 points to Joy Collision’s
11, but that was all the offense Long Island was able to muster in the
period, as the Maulers’ defense pitched shutouts for the next 7 jams. On
the 10th and final jam of the period, Lady Quebeaum got the Maulers over
the century mark with a 16-0 jam over Summer Slam, ending a crushing
72-0 run that brought the score to a crowd-jarring 102-3.

At the beginning of the second period, it looked like the Long Island
girls might be showing a bit of life — Summer Slam got revenge for the
previous jam by taking lead jammer and outscoring Lady Quebeaum 4-3, and
Trixie Timebomb followed that by getting a lead jam of her own, scoring
2 points to Betty Beatdown’s 4. Unfortunately for Long Island, the
Maulers unleashed a torrent over the next four jams — a 15-0 jam for
Joy Collision over Iris Carbomb, an 11-0 for Buzz Kill over Summer Slam,
a 14-0 for Lady Quebeaum over Ameretto Sourpuss, and a 13-0 for Pistol
Whip over Felon of Troy. Joy Collision’s slightly-too-aggressive style
earned her an ejection for the period at about the 8-minute mark (by
mutual agreement of the leagues, the bout was played under a rules
variation in which three trips to the penalty box equaled a period
ejection), but even losing their MVP wasn’t enough to faze the Maulers.
While Long Island’s Raven Madd momentarily slowed the avalanche on Jam
17, scoring 2 points to Shevil Knievel’s 5, it was only a temporary
respite — Betty Beatdown put a 11-0 jam on Killer Tofu and Pistol Whip
ended the period with a 15-0 win over Trixie Timebomb. At the end of the
second period, the scoreboard showed a 193-11 advantage for the home

With victory all but assured, the Maulers gave the hometown fans
something special in the third period, sending out blockers Cindy
Lop-Her, Rosie the Rioter and Berzerker for their first-ever jams as
Maulers. While Cindy battled to a 0-0 draw in a chaotic 2-minute Jam 23
with Felon of Troy, Rosie put up an 8-3 Jam 26 over Trixie Timebomb and
the fearsome Berzerker topped that with a 9-1 Jam 28, also over
Timebomb. Meanwhile, the Maulers’ regular jammers weren’t exactly
packing it in either. On the second jam of the period, Betty Beatdown
dropped an 18-0 jam on Summer Slam, and Joy Collision, returned from her
second-period exile, one-upped her with the biggest jam of the night, a
19-1 over Ameretto Sourpuss. In the end, the Maulers’ Sizzle-Leen closed
out the night by racking up 11 points to Summer Slam’s 0, putting an
exclamation point on an epic victory for the Maulers’ final home game of
their first travel team season.

The 273-point victory shattered the previous record for the largest
point spread in a WFTDA-sanctioned game (183, set just two weeks ago at
Dust Devil by the Bay Area Derby Girls over Pikes Peak.) Charm City’s
win moves them to 1-2 in WFTDA-sanctioned interleague play and 3-2
overall, with previous wins over Dominion and Harrisburg, and previous
losses to Carolina and Philly. Long Island falls to 0-3 in interleague
play, with previous losses to Boston and the Penn-Jersey She-Devils.
Both teams will be back in action in just two weeks at Philly’s East
Coast Extravaganza invitational. The Maulers will get two shots at
being the first Division III team to knock off a Division II team,
facing Grand Raggidy on Saturday, March 17 and Detroit on Sunday, March
18. Meanwhile, Long Island takes on Dominion in a Division III battle on
Sunday, March 18.

Justice Feelgood Marshall #1954 – America’s Referee
Head Ref, Charm City Roller Girls”

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