This post was originally featured at Derby News Network in January 2008.
It was an interesting night at the Castle Sports Club as the Arizona Derby Dames open up their 2008 season with a non-regulation event which consists of 4 “mini-bouts”. These 4 mini-bouts are 10-minutes long and consist of 1-minute jams. Unlike other local leagues, AZDD does stop their clock between each jam, which allows them to use the full 10 minutes for game-play.
There was definitely some nice changes to the overall environment of the bout. The merch table was moved from the rink to the front hall in a place that makes it more visible and more accessible. There were several vendors including our friends from Fetish Falls. AZDD got some new rope lights this year. The light effect was not as visible this year as the previous rope lights but at least these worked. I can also tell that Ann Thrash was very busy during the off-season doing new signs and graphics for the venue area. The new signage was very professional and the team identification signs for the scoreboard looked really good and professional.
The only thing that was noticiably missing from this bout (and I will assume that it was just this one night only), were bout programs. I can understand that in this case since this was a mini-bout and also since the rosters are not final because of an upcoming draft of Fresh Meat skaters, the roster information will change.
But regardless of that, AZDD was very successful in packing in a capacity crowd at the Castle Sports Club. Despite some concerns over the potential of rain and the Castle’s leaky roof, Mother Nature must be a Bombshells fan because she cooperated that evening.
BRUTAL BEAUTIES vs. COFFIN DRAGGERS
The Brutal Beauties have several new skaters but the one we are watching closely is Rogue Kill. This is a skater who recently came to AZDD from AZRD and she is one of the Pink’s newest jammers. Also jamming for the Beauties was Celeste and Sally Whacker.
Prior to her quasi-retirement, Suzy Homewrecker made this capacity crowd go wild with an altercation with Shawnee Rotten. This bout was pretty much all about the Beauties and with about 4 minutes remaining, the score was already up to 23 to 3 in favor of the Brutal Beauties. Lora Stabbs takes a hit from Kamikaze Kiwi which sends her into a box located next to the announcer’s table. She was down for a bit but was able to return to the Dragger bench on her own. Suzy Homewrecker did skate in the final jam as a blocker.
The Brutal Beauties beat the Coffin Draggers 41-11.
Between the bouts, there was a foot race for the kids. McDonald’s gift certificates were given away.
BRUTAL BEAUTIES vs. BOMBSHELLS
This was the debut of Phenomenon as team captain of the Bombshells. The Bombshell fans were defintiely in full force. Some were seen wearing green and red war paint. Like with the Draggers, the Bombshells have some new rookie skaters like Hippie’s Revenge, who is another transplant from AZRD. Another rookie, Alkaline Trina was also jamming. Phenomenon and Rope Me Rhonda complete the Bombshell jammer rotation for tonight.
The Brutal Beauties get off to a good start but the ‘Shells are showing a lot of resistance. After 3 minutes, the pinks are up 7-3. Phyllis Killer gets into an altercation with Phenomenon.
An interesting jam took place that pitted two of the former AZRD transplanted rookies together as jammers. Rogue Kill takes on Hippie’s Revenge. Rogue Kill takes the lead jam as Hippie’s Revenge gets a lot of resistance from Red Rocker and the rest of the pack pretty much goes down in a nice collision on the backstretch. Rogue Kill picks up 5 points for the Beauties before calling the jam. With about 5 minutes remaining, Brutal Beauties lead 26-5.
I have noticed that the Brutal Beauties were definitely picking up a lot of lead jams so far. Now, Mami Chula has been added to the evening’s jammer rotation.
Rogue Kill and Hippie’s Revenge goes up again. As like with the last time, Hippie gets slowed down by Red Rocker. Rogue Kill picks up 4 more.
In the final jam, Brutal Beauty team captain Kamikaze Kiwi takes on Phenomenon and Phenom shows why she earned best jammer last year because she was able to plow through the pack and pick up lead jam. But despite that, the clock prematurely ends the jam and the final score was the Brutal Beauties beating the Bombshells 48-5. (editor’s note: we are still verifying that was the final score. We do not have any record of whether any points were picked up in the final jam. Once we get the official score, we will update the blog).
THE DRAG RACES
During the “half time”, AZDD entertained this packed crowd with a very interesting show which included Miss Gay Pride Phoenix Afelya Bunz and a troupe of drag queens with skates on in a very funny relay race. There were 5 girls, each representing one of the 5 teams in the league. First, the girls would race a lap around the track and then hand off to a fresh meat skater who would complete another lap. Then the limbo stick was pulled out and these special dames would have to lap the track and try to make it under the stick. Then there were “shopping cart races” where a skater would play the shopping cart and then the other member of that team would hold on from behind for the ride. Other events included skating around the track wearing one skate and a high heel shoe and make-up application. It was funny seeing Afelya Bunz skating around the track wearing a half zipped-up boot. Even some of the veteran skaters, such as the Beauty’s Heidi Salami got into it. And just like with the direction that the mini-bout is going, the drag queen representing the Brutal Beauties won the race. Definitely a sign of what’s to come for the pink patrol this year.
The interesting thing is that unlike previous bouts that I have been to, AZDD did a good job keeping fans in their seats during half time with this fun show. It was great seeing the drag queens skate. They definitely have been practicing and for that, I commend them. The show was fun to watch and was definitely a good break in the action. My pink Brutal Beauty hat goes off to everyone involved in putting the halftime show together and with the exception of Afelya’s boot, it went off without any wardrobe malfunctions.
As that event is over, the crowd gets very charged up because the Schoolyard Scrappers are getting warmed up to take on the Brutal Beauties. Based on how the Scrappers did last year against the Beauties, some think that they may actually defeat the Beauties.
BRUTAL BEAUTIES vs. SCHOOL YARD SCRAPPERS
While there are some new faces on the 2008 Scrappers, many of the veterans from last year are still here including team captain Rowdy Roulette, co-captain Frankie Fitz, All The Way Mae and Hatcha’ Face. We also see the long awaited return of Chuck Berrings, who was suspended last August over an incident that took place at the Lady Lux vs. Team Excalibur demo bout.
The Scrappers have a new skirt this year. The new skirts are a darker shade of blue. While I like last year’s brighter blue, the new shade of blue seems to reflect a new attitude for this team. An attitude that they have grown and they are to be taken seriously.
Out of all the teams tonight, the Scrappers definitely made the best entrance by first causing a disturbance in the classroom of the Castle by banging on the clear plexiglass walls and then making their appearance down the aisle between turns 3 and 4. The crowd goes crazy.
The first jam starts with Mami Chula jamming for the Beauties and AZDD veteran All The Way Mae jamming for the Scrappers and after the first jam, the Scrappers take a lead 4-2. So far, the Scrappers have been the only team to ever take a lead over the Brutal Beauties. The Beauties eventually get their lead back after the second jam, 7-5.
The Brutal Beauties Lux Breaker goes down next to the announcer’s table appearing to be holding her hands to her face. After a looking over, she returns later on.
Definitely a sign of the good old days, both Rowdy Roulette and Chuck Berrings double team take down Beauty jammer Celeste and like ol’ times, Chuck gets sent to the box. Chuck and Celeste would go at it again later on in the bout.
With 2:20 remaining, the Beauties are up 22-14 and due to a Beauty penalty by Mami Chula, the Scrappers have a solo jammer and it’s rookie Perfecta Kill. In the jam, Sally Whacker tries to take down Perfecta Kill and Perfecta stays up like a brick wall and gets by a hit that would normally take other skaters down. No points were scored in the jam.
Final Jam, 28-17 Beauties and Celeste takes on rookie jammer Miss Behaved. Miss Behaved picks up 3 points but the Beauties still prevail with a final score of 29-20.
After this bout, a game of “full contact musical chairs” was played which pitted all of the fresh meat skaters in the ultimate elimination game. It ended when one of the fresh meat skaters took the remaining chair and started skating with it. There was a scuffle at the end involving this skater and Val E. Girl and Val E. Girl was not successful in getting the chair back.
BRUTAL BEAUTIES vs. RUNAWAY BRIDES
History was made as derby fans get their first glimpse of Ann Thrash’s Runaway Brides. Wearing white uniform shirts with the Brides logo on the front and their skate names and numbers on the back using the same font, many of them had very poofy crinoline style skirts. The general opinion of others I spoke to this evening as well as my personal opinion is that we will probably start seeing some wardrobe malfunctions pretty early in the season. Also do the delight of some fans, the ratio of skaters wearing ruffled panties was very high on this team. Even though these brides look good, let’s see how they skate.
The bout starts with Stiletto Wheels taking lead jam and eventually picking up 3 points. This makes the Brides the second team to ever take a lead over the Beauties. 3-0.
In addition to rookie skaters like Stiletto Wheels and Skatish Bagfights, Thrash and Martini definitely have some major veterans on this team including Dee Tox, Mighty Meanace, Razen Hell and A. Malicious.
With Stiletto Wheels jamming, the Beauties’ Mami Chula makes a great collision with Brides team manager Joe Nads (who is Ann Thrash’s husband) on the Bride bench.
With Skatish Bagfights jamming for the Brides, Dee Tox is seen really doing a great job holding off Beauty jammer Celeste. Statish gets the lead jam and Celeste eventually breaks. 9-5 Beauties with 5 minutes remaining.
The Beauties margin kicks up into high gear with a bit over a minute remaining with the score 22-9 in favor of the pink.
Final jam, Beauties up 22-14. Skatish Bagfights jamming against Celeste. Skatish having a run in with Red Rocker while Celeste was being challenged by Ann Thrash. Celeste manages to break and put some final points on the board and the bout ends with a Brutal Beauty win. Final score 27-14.
So in a 40 regulation minute period of time, the Brutal Beauties show that they still have what it takes and is able to sweep by 4 teams in one night.
Derby Dames has this very interesting way of attracting crowds that the other leagues are just not picking up. This is through great promotion and through the overall presentation of events.
The AZDR congratulates Suzy Homewrecker and everything she has done for this league. While this is her last skating bout, she will continue in the league as the team manager for the Coffin Draggers and founder of the league. With more time to focus on her creativity, look for some very interesting things to come from AZDD this season.
The next event for AZDD will be their regulation season opener on March 1. This and all of the regulation bouts this year will be double headers. On March 1, the Bombshells will take on the School Yard Scrappers and then a rematch of last year’s championship bout as the undefeated Brutal Beauties take on the Coffin Draggers (without Thrash, Martini, Dee Tox and Suzy skating). Expect a totally different Coffin Dragger team that night.
For more information on the AZDD, visit their official website:
The AZDR’s information page on the Arizona Derby Dames can be found at:
THE ARIZONA DERBY REPORT
Michelle A. Eyre/Michi-chan