Full Derby Name: Craven Moorhead
Derby Number: 68
League Name: Rock City Riot
Team Name: Rock City Riot
Years playing derby: 4+
The best advice I’ve ever given a teammate is: Don’t give up! Things may seem hard at first, but with some practice it becomes second nature. Soon you’ll be doing things that you never thought you could do on skates. Keep pushing and practice as often as you can.
My biggest guilty pleasure is: Video games. I could easily spend a weekend playing video games and hardly see or talk to anybody. I use it as a way to recharge.
The best part of being on a team is: We spend so much time with the people on our team that they start to become like family. Need someone to help you move? Your team is there to help. Want to get out of the house and do something? Your team is there to help. Need advice on how to handle a situation? Your team is there to help. I know that whenever I decide to hang up my skates for good, I’ll have some lifelong friends that I skated with in Rock City Riot.
My favorite food to chow down on after a bout is: Far and away, pizza is the best food to eat after a bout. Heck, pizza is the best regardless of bout time. With all the different variations of pizza, I don’t think I could ever tire of it.
If I could have a superpower it would be: I think being able to teleport would be awesome. Just think of where you want to be and you’re there. No more long car trips or being stuck in traffic and no more enduring the elements to get where you’re going. Teleporting would be safe, easy, and it would free up a whole lot of time and frustration.
I’m looking forward to BrewHaHa because: An event like BrewHaHa brings in teams from all over the nation. Being from North Dakota puts us quite a distance from most MRDA teams. BrewHaHa will give us a chance to play teams that we normally wouldn’t get to play due to travel, funding, and/or time restraints.
Full Derby Name: Dick Diamond
Derby Number: 68&IOU1
League Name: Dallas Deception
Team Name: Dallas Deception
Years playing derby: 5
When I’m not playing derby, you’ll find me: Working or at the gym
If you pulled up to me while driving, you’d see me loudly singing the lyrics to: Depends on where I’m going at the time. Maybe some Nelly “BATTER UP”
You’ll never see me: drink whiskey…yuck!!
One thing that always cheers me up is: when I see a skater that has worked hard and I can see the reward they get from putting in work
The quote I tend to live by is: “what goes around comes around,” so treat people right and always do the right thing in any situation.
If I could buy one thing right now it would be: 2009 Aston Martin DB9
When no one is around I tend to: Do pushups
My worst habit is: Trying to get everybody to get Bonts even if they don’t skate.
It’s really unattractive when: A skater just skates for the glamour and not the sport
The best part of being on a team is: When we Bont together…. Oh did I say Bont , I meant Bond.
My biggest guilty pleasure is: sending jammers to the box for cuts…. Mmmmm I LOVE IT
My favorite food to chow down on after a bout is: I don’t really eat but drink a lot of chocolate milk.
I’m looking forward to BrewHaHa because: It is a great event and we get to play great teams like Cincinnati and Puget. Also, the Brewcity Bruisers came to Clovercup in Dallas and are an awesome group of ladies.
Full Derby Name: Egon Strangler
Derby Number: 42
League Name: Minnesota Men’s Roller Derby
Team Name: Twin Cities Terrors
Nickname: Candy Man
Years playing derby: 5
When I’m not playing derby, you’ll find me: In the real world, I teach private lessons on piano, drums, and guitar. I also teach a pair of drumlins that perform around the Twin Cities.
You’ll never see me: Enjoying karaoke.
I’m looking forward to BrewHaHa because: the last time I was in Milwaukee, a cardboard cutout of the Queen of England was crowd surfing at the after party.
The quote I tend to live by is: “Different jerseys, same team” Originally I applied it to our travel roster to help quell home team rivalries. These days I use it to convey that we’re all in this big bad derby boat together. Girls, boys, zeebs, and juniors all have to work together to keep this baller.
If I could buy one thing right now it would be: A new custom pair of Bonts with some Arius plates. My old skates have really done a number on my feet. I’ve recently found out I have bunions, which my wife thinks is pretty funny. I was unaware, but apparently bunions are an affliction typically reserved for ladies that regularly wear heels.
The best advice I’ve ever been give is: Either to read the rules or to straighten my hair. The jury is still out on that one.
If I could have a superpower it would be: Flight, no contest. Best jammer ever. Cheap flights to anywhere. No gas money.
I know it’s a little weird but: I take a briefcase full of candy to big derby events. It started as a joke at the second Rolling Along the River down in Sioux City, and after that I couldn’t go anywhere without people asking me if I had it with me. Yes it will be at BrewHaHa. Come find me and we shall feast upon its bountiful sugary splendor.
The best part of being on a team is: Road trips, after parties, and occasional mid-jam telepathy.
Full Derby Name: Mr. e MACHINE
Derby Number: 2718
League Name: Milwaukee Blitzdkrieg
Team Name: Milwaukee Blitzdkrieg (travel team) & Great Lakes Pirates (home team)
Nickname: Mr. e, or e, or Sweat-e, or Sweat Machine
Years playing derby: 1
I’m looking forward to BrewHaHa because: I played for the first time at BrewHaHa last year. As soon as I heard “5 seconds”, it got really REAL!I was running down the track, clockwise, trying to soul crush a jammer.Quadzilla got in my way to stop my progress.I just dropped my shoulder and kept on going.Most egregious clock block ever.The ref was shaking her head at me, and that mental image still cracks up one of my teammates (Bear Kyllz) to this day.So, I’m looking forward to BrewHaHa so I can apologize to Quadzilla once again and also to experience the event with a little more experience under my belt.
When I’m not playing derby, you’ll find me: Dreaming Derby, Coaching Derby, Derby Administration, or Watching Derby!!!I also love Rock Climbing, Mountain Biking, Intense Cross-Training, Reading, Napping, and exploring career options that won’t interfere with my napping. I’m really good at napping.
If you pulled up to me while driving, you’d see me loudly singing the lyrics to: Material Girl by Madonna or I don’t Wanna Care Right Now by Lupe Fiasco.
You’ll never see me: Tame & Complacent. Seriously. I’m always trying new things, pushing myself, doing & saying things that other people find ridiculous.
One thing that always cheers me up is: Skating. Duh.
The quote I tend to live by is: “I’ll try anything twice.”I also love Bruce Lee and his philosophy/outlook.Here’s one I love:”Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.”
If I could buy one thing right now it would be:My own rink. More realistically, I need new boots soon.
When no one is around I tend to: Pick my nose, dance, or read
My worst habit is: Getting side-tracked. I lose focus pretty easily.
The best advice I’ve ever given a teammate is: We only get four hours of track time each week.We don’t have time to not kick @$$ during practice!!!
It’s really unattractive when: I meet someone that’s really superficial, overly focused on putting on a facade, and doesn’t have anything real to say. Even the most beautiful girls instantly turn me off when that happens.
The best part of being on a team is: Getting a flavor of everyone’s unique walk of life and perspective they bring to the team.
My favorite food to chow down on after a bout is: Breakfast. I eat breakfast the night before a bout, the morning of a bout, and if I’m lucky, after a bout, too. And I’m talking about a big steak, 3-4 eggs, hash browns, toast, & pancakes, too. I also like crepes, biscuits & gravy, & waffles, but I don’t want to sound like a glutton here, so I better stop.
Full Derby Name: Rude Gus
Derby Number: 67
League Name: Chicago Bruise Brothers
Team Name: Chicago Bruise Brothers
Nickname: Scoot Scoot Scoot
Years playing derby: Two and a half – minus some time for a broken ankle.
I’m looking forward to BrewHaHa because: I like to put my butt on things.
When I’m not playing derby, you’ll find me: Naked, angry, and thinking about pizza.
If you pulled up to me while driving, you’d see me loudly singing the lyrics to: “Lip Gloss” by Lil Mama
You’ll never see me: Before I arrive.
One thing that always cheers me up is: Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar acceptance speech.
The quote I tend to live by is: “Hey, man, I can’t analyze everything that comes out of my mouth.”
If I could buy one thing right now it would be: As much as I’d like to own the car Ice Cube drove in the video from ‘It Was A Good Day,” realistically I would probably end up buying a bunch of dresses.
When no one is around I tend to: Compulsively give a middle finger to inanimate objects. Up yours, laser printer.
My worst habit is: Scrum farts.
The best advice I’ve ever given a teammate is: Learn as many things from as many different people as possible until you figure out what works for you.
The best advice I’ve ever been given is: “It’s just roller team.”
I know it’s a little weird but: I own leggings in every color of the rainbow. Also, rainbow leggings.
It’s really unattractive when: People get really wound up over the things they can’t control.
The best part of being on a team is: The moment when everything clicks and you’re instinctively working in tandem, as if some supernatural force were conducting your symphony of destruction.
If I could have a superpower it would be: Shapeshifting! As many advantages as being gigantic provides, there are so many low to the ground things I never see.