FEASTERVILLE, PA — June 7th could cap an amazing turnaround year for the Heavy Metal Hookers. For the past two seasons, the team has settled for last place in the Philly Roller Girls’ intraleague standings, with only one lonely win to its credit. However, as this team of bad girls tears another month off its “Year of the Hooker” calendar, the skaters are setting their sights – for the first time in league history – on the big dance: the Season 3 Warrior Cup championship bout.
Local fans were treated to a preview of this pairing on May 3rd, when the Philthy Britches came out victorious by a margin of 97 to 60. Even though the results from that bout did not impact the Championship matchup – the teams had already clinched their spots – both higher seeding and bragging rights were on the line. Additionally, the teams were able to use the occasion to their benefit by scoping out and getting a feel for their opposition in order to anticipate how things might go down on June 7th.
The Hookers have always had the league’s most die-hard fans, in spite of their two seasons at the bottom of the rankings, but will a sea of neon green in the audience help boost the team to victory? Can the roar of the crowd enable them to do what no other team has done in 3 years of Philadelphia derby league play – can they bring down the Philthy Britches? The Hookers roster boasts the 2007 League MVP, Teflon Donna: a triple threat, she excels at all elements of the game, and looks equally comfortable as jammer, pivot, or blocker; however, the Britches may be able to counteract her performance with the tag-team of 2007′s League Pivot, Violet Temper, and 2007′s League Jammer, Mo Pain. Violet has made a name for herself at the pivot spot by putting the breaks on some of the best jammers in the game, while Pain is known for her speed, agility, and an uncanny ability to make her way through the smallest of holes in a pack.
This season, the Hookers have built a solid core of jammers who are just as happy scoring points as they are blocking their opposing jammers and keeping the competition off the scoreboard. Not to be outdone, the team’s blockers have hit their stride and can turn any bout into a defensive showdown. The Britches have stuck with the recipe that nearly three seasons have proven to work all-but-flawlessly for them: teamwork and communication that produces a dense, intimidating pack, combined with aggressive, nimble jammers whose numbers speak for themselves. History undeniably favors the Britches in this matchup, but momentum has been backing the Hookers all season long. A battle of strategy will take place on the track, and it’s anyone’s guess which team will prevail and take home the 2008 league championship.
The evening will also feature an opening bout starring the Broad Street Butchers, who for the first time in three seasons have found themselves absent from the title game. They host the Dutchland Derby Rollers’ All-Stars, who are entering their second season of play at the Overlook Center in Lancaster, PA. The league’s three teams have distinctive names that reflect their area’s unique culture and history: the Barn Razors, the Distel Finks, and the Hex Offenders; however, the All-Star team that the Butchers face will feature skaters from across the three. The Butchers are winless in interleague play this season, having suffered a loss at the hands of Carolina’s Trauma Queens, in addition to a disappointing intraleague campaign against the Hookers and Britches. The Dutchland All-Stars have played two interleague bouts in 2008, starting out with a victory over Montreal on March 29th, and effectively splitting a decision at a “mixer bout” on May 18th versus the Wilmington City Ruff Rollers of Delaware.
Doors will open at 5:00 p.m., with the first bout starting at 6:00 p.m. Both bouts will feature two 30 minute periods, with an intermission between bouts. The second bout is scheduled to kick off shortly after 7:45 p.m. La Resistance will perform live.
Immediately after the bout, the Warrior Cup will be presented and the fan-favorite winners will be announced for such categories as best jammer, best pivot, best blocker, and the referee people most want to send to the sin bin.
Annie Christ – #777 // Antidote – #100cc // Black Eye Susan – #9 // Butterscotch Cripple – #42 // Goldie Boxxx – #19 // Elle Viento – #22 // Nina Knockout – #36XXX // Persephone – #15 // Shenita Stretcher – #305 // Skirt McGirt – #88 // Tara Newone – #76 // Vixen Van Go Go – #00
Bunny McBones – #703 // Cherry Crush – #337 // Cole Slaughter – #$2.49 // Fujiyama Mama – #23 // Hillbilly Hellcat – #1218 // Irene Business – #911 // Jolene Jawbreaker – #3 // Josie Cuervo – #21+ // Marie Antoithreat – #1793 // Mary That Motha OH GOD! – #667 // Rachel Slur – #4shizzle // Spawna Skatin’ – #540 // Spinal Snap – #goes to 11 // Stompin Lizzy Stanton – #19th // Treasure Chest – #777 // Twisted Scizzors – #40 vol. // White Thrash – #16 oz.
Dara Licks – #67 // Dotti Horror – #7 // Gefilte Fists – #18 // Gloria Grindem – #1972 // Janet Meano – #40oz. // Liz Teria – #919 // Mo Pain – #8 // Olivia Face – #668 // Racey Intent – #79 // Rosie Bloodbath – #24 // Violet Temper – #06
Alessa Evil – #$9,104 // Euro Thrash – #XIV // Felony Griffith – #44 // Heavy Flo – #527 // Ivana Rock – #11 // Mandawar – #333 // Miranda Slambert – #R5 // Robin Drugstores – #714 // Teflon Donna – #85 // The Cycrone! – #63 // Val Halla – #17 // Wendy Whiplash – #1369 // Wreckin Eyez – #4SALE