Boston Championship Bout Preview


In a re-match of Season One’s championship bout, the Cosmonaughties will once again be taking on the Wicked Pissahs for the Boston Derby Dames’ crown.

Check out Mr. Hits’ in-depth preview podcast for some sharp insight on what he sees as both team’s strengths, weaknesses, and best shot at taking home the trophy.

Their first match-up came in Season One, with a September 2006 upset that would plague both teams for the rest of the season: an unprecedented 58-58 tie. Never able to declare a clear winner, the Pissahs and Cosmos walked away wondering who would come out on top, the space ladies or the townies in red?

The Cosmos went on to defeat the Nutcrackers in November 2006, while the Pissahs fell to the Nuts in December, paving the way for a Nutcrackers/Wicked Pissahs playoff in March 2007. A 95-74 playoff victory in favor of the Pissahs—their first win of the season—set the stage for the Season One championship bout.

There the Wicked Pissahs prevailed, holding a lead of more 20 points against the Cosmonaughties for much of the bout. At the end the score stood at 104-80 and the Pissahs were officially declared Boston Derby Dames’ 2006-2007 Champions.

This year the Cosmos are the ones entering the championship bout with a shaky season record with only one win, a well-timed victory over the Nuts in the playoffs.

Boston fans were treated to a Championship Bout preview on February 9, 2008, when the Wicked Pissahs came out victorious by a margin of 103 to 64. In the first period, the Cosmos had grabbed a 22-16 lead. For the first time in a long time, the Pissahs appeared off-balance and it looked like there might be an upset in the making. Unfortunately for the Cosmos, ladies in red calmed down, regrouped and came storming back with a 13-0 run to end the first period. This rush led to a 29-22 Pissah advantage.

As fatigue set in at the halfway mark and the pace of the game slowed slightly, Pissahs workhorses dug in and seized their opportunity. Just as they did against the Nutcrackers earlier in the season, the Pissahs went on a devastating tear to put the score out of reach. Securing lead jammer in ten of twelve jams, the Pissahs notched forty-four points to the Cosmos’ nine with a typical impressive team performance. With the Cosmos refusing to let up and clawing their way back one jam at a time, the bout remained a brutal dogfight until the end.

The defending champs aren’t the type to rest on their laurels, and they’ll surely be packing heat when these teams face off for the Season Two title at Shriners Auditorium this Saturday, June 14. Playing without blockers Miss Mary Smack and Betty Spite, their defense will have to refocus if they want to keep Cosmo star jammers Maura Buse and Claire D. Way (who together scored all but 9 of the Cosmos points in February) at bay. However, the Cosmos will also be missing hard-hitting blocker and team co-captain Flat Enya and will need to work equally as hard to contain rookie jamming sensation Krush Puppy and jamming veterans Triple Deck-Her and Tootsie Pop.

Will a re-energized Cosmo roster bounce back from a rocky 1-2 season to hand the Pissahs their first loss of the year? Or will the tough-girl townies make up for their two missing all-stars to take the trophy twice in a row, with an undefeated season to boot?

Additional reporting: Harley Quinn

-0 Shellby Shattered // 3.2.1 Miss. Mary Smack // 3 Jodie Faster // 99 Harlot Fevah // B52 Etta Maims // 3D Triple Deck-Her // 3.31.25 Betty Spite // 9669 Harley Quinn // 843 Krush Puppy // B-17 Varga Bomber // 7:1 Maude Forbid // 18 Trish Squish // 100 flushes Bully Mia

34B Maura Buse // 13 Flat Enya // 28 Pussy Venom // 1620 CocoAGoGo // M16 Full Metal Jacque // r04r Jennasaurus Wrecks // 1984 Claire D. Way // 455 EZ Bake Shovin’ // 360 Mrs. Dash // 101 Anna Wrecks’Ya // 20 Vicious Vivacious Vera // 01 General Lee Feisty // 508 Pitts of Rage

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